First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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