I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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