You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
