I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
