This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
