I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
