she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
