Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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