I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.