In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.