My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?