im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
