I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My feet surprised me
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