I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
