Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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