Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You are a genius and a whore.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
