Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
