Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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