hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
