i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
