Did you just see the Batmobile???
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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