i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize