My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
