So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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