Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
