My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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