well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
