I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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