i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
