if i died would you start the facebook group?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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