He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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