i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
