A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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