Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
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"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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