What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
