Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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