Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
