i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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