before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
