I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Randomize
