There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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