I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
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I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
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Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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