I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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