i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
