is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
