This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
