It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
