I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
