Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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