Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
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I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
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But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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