my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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