haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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