Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
