Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
