dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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