mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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