Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
