Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
false alarm, still single
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