Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
