He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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