That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
