im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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