genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
