So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
