so that wasnt chicken after all
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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