would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
