PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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