sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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