I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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