I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
