I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
