Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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