I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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