I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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