it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
