That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
