So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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